Here and gone...

My day started out somewhat depressing with the news of the death of Robert Jordan, one of my favorite authors of all time. He was the author of the massive fantasy epic "The Wheel Of Time", and lost his battle with amyloidosis this weekend. While this was saddening, it wasn't completely unexpected. The man was sick, and he lived a long and fruitful life.

But after I got back to work from lunch, I got a phone call from my wife in tears, asking if I had checked the Forum (the MikePortnoy.com forum that we both frequent) and to tell me that it was a joke. Not understanding, I logged on, and the whole world stopped.

Our dear friend, Keith Kitchens, passed away. From what, I don't know. All we know so far (and I haven't checked the forum again yet) was that he was hospitalized with an illness, and passed away earlier today.

I think I'm still in shock/denial, because I can't process this. Part of me refuses to. Keith wasn't supposed to die. His Zi was supposed to move from China and they were supposed to get married. He was supposed to be happy, goddamnit. Not die in a fucking hospital room without his Zi. Fuck, THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO FUCKING HAPPEN.

My only condolence right now is that he's no longer hurting. Keith dealt with a lot of shit in his life, most of which I won't comment on because it's not my business too. But the man went through some dark fucking times in his life and came out on the other side. Not many people can say that. And now, after all that, he's gone. It's not right, and it's not fair.

Rest in peace, my friend. While we never met in person, we shared a love for music, and I will carry that with me for the rest of my days. I miss you already, Keith.

James

Absolute genius...

In a violent place
we can call our country
There's a mixed up man
and I guess thats me.
The sun's in the sky
but the storm never seems to end.

It's a place of sorrow
that we call it a home.
And the darkest thoughts
yeah, I guess they're my own.
There's wealth in the bank
but there is nothing to show inside.

It's cloudy now
It's cloudy now
It's cloudy now
It's getting cloudy now

In a special place
that I call my life
My father is cruel and he lost his wife.
But i don't see either
'Cause I live across the street.

It's a beautiful thing when it starts to rain.
The man who drinks
just to drown the pain.
And I can't stop from dreaming of something else.

It's cloudy now
It's cloudy now
It's cloudy now
It's getting cloudy now...

It's cloudy now
It's cloudy now
It's cloudy now
It's getting cloudy now...

We are a fucked up generation
It's cloudy now...

-- Steven Wilson

Gears Are Turning Once More

This post goes out to the three people who read this blog (my wife and two online friends). Without the three of you, I wouldn't know the three of you.

I'm writing again! Now that I have some new gear, I have been writing the kind of music I grew up listening to. METAL! And it's going good. I have to thank my wife and my mother-in-law, however, because it is all their doing. My wife was going to buy me a GarageBand controller from the Apple Store but was told that it isn't what I would want it for (which was true), so my wife told me to go buy what I needed. What I purchased was a Line 6 POD 2.0. Yeah, yeah, I bought it myself, but she told me to, and if she hadn't, I never would've purchased it.

Then my mother-in-law, bless her heart, purchased me a brand new Ibanez RG4EX and hard case from Guitar Center. I suppose I should also thank my friend Cole for hooking me up with his copy of Cubase LE.

So now I'm writing and recording again. I've got a start of a new tune which is coming together nicely, and you can check it out at any of the three Music links on the right. It's called "Desolation" because I thought it was a cool sounding name for a song. Only about a minute long as it's just a couple ideas thrown together really quick, and the tone isn't where I'd like it to be, but it's there.

Can't wait to continue writing and recording. Awesome, awesome times.

Broken Jesus

You come to me
Asking for truth
Wanting to hear
What I can do

You'll never see
What you've become
Refuse to change
Your father's son


And I can't tell you what you should do
It's not my place to run your life
All you can do is make your own mistakes
All I can do is hope you don't fall on the knife


I won't be your broken Jesus
I won't save you from yourself
I can't be your broken Jesus
I can't heal what you can't accept

I won't be your broken Jesus
I've been down that road before
I can't be your broken Jesus
You need to find the open door


If I could say
What's in my head
You'd swear me off
You'd want me dead


You never were that good and handling shame
But then again, neither was I
The difference is I learned to deal with my pain
And all you've done is become the one you despise


I won't be your broken Jesus
I won't save you from yourself
I can't be your broken Jesus
I can't heal what you won't accept

I won't be your broken Jesus
I've been down that road before
I can't be your broken Jesus
You need to find the open door


You and I have some history
And I'm not quite giving up
But I just don't know what to say anymore

You claim you care for others
You think you've grown up
You couldn't be farther from the truth


I won't be your broken Jesus
I won't save you from yourself
I can't be your broken Jesus
You can't heal what you can't accept

I won't be your broken Jesus
I've been down that road before
I can't be your broken Jesus
And I can't open that door

Changing Of The Guard

For many years, the band Dream Theater was my favorite band. I was introduced to them in either my junior or senior year in high school, and for many years, I never looked back. Lately, however, I have been enjoying their output less and less. I've been drawing away from their style of music, and being drawn more towards the band known as Porcupine Tree (myspace).

This outfit is led by the, dare I say, musical genius Stephen Wilson (myspace). His style is somewhat reminscent of the alternative movement of the 90's with a heavy Beatles-esque influence (which is really odd as I hate the Beatles). Then again, his style is very unique in that you can't really put a label on it. Progressive? Sometimes. Ambient? Often. Poppy? Yep. Heavy? Definitely. I guess I'm at a point in my life where I now signify with the music he writes than with anyone else. Dream Theater, on the other hand, have become almost predictable (ironic considering their genre) in their songwriting, and I just don't feel it anymore. Their last three albums have had only a handful of songs I like, where as everything up through "Scenes From A Memory" was perfect from start to finish.

So Porcupine Tree is quickly replacing Dream Theater as my favorite band. I even cancelled the pre-order I placed of their new album "Systematic Chaos" because I just don't get it anymore. They released a "single" of sorts, and it's just more of the same pointless wankering that I'm just not into anymore.

So here's to you, Mr. Wilson and the Tree. Here's the torch that Dream Theater carried for so long.

A Resurrection

I am resurrecting this blog as I feel that it's time for me to share my thoughts. Those thoughts may take any shape. From mindless obscurity to personal insights, to music that is really speaking to me, to something that might be pissing me off... Anything goes this time around.

I have, of late, been getting more into my creative side. I'm playing guitar more (thanks to the amazing generosity of my mother-in-law who purchased me a brand new Ibanez RG4EX, pics to come), and even writing music again. I am also writing on the literature end of things, thanks in part (hell, in whole) to my good friend Cole, who is always there with a fucked-up idea to turn into a cinematic event of some kind, and he always manages to pique my interest enough to get my gears a moving.

I am also now officially a webmaster! Heroes Of The Internet we like to call ourselves in our little part of the office. It's challenging me to be more creative visually, which is an area I've been sorely lacking in. And I like that. I like to be challenged. The guys I work with are some of the coolest people to work with, and I'm not saying that because they'll be reading this; it's true. We click really well together, we share that odd sense of humor that makes geeks who they are. It's a good thing.

More to come later...

Whoa... a blog and stuff

Okay, so my wife started a blog of her own (see sidebar for linkage, yo) and it got me wondering if it would be a cool thing to do or not, so I figured "What the hell" and signed up. Not sure what I'll be posting or how often, but I'll give it a shot. I usually have about a thousand things running through my head at one time, so maybe I'll have an outlet now. We'll see. Journals have never really worked for me, I just never really got into them. But I'm a computer geek, so maybe this will be different. I'm gonna putz around with my settings and shit and most likely come back and spew some stuff.